I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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