um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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