She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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