we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my poor anus
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
