True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
