YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
