if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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