I wish my penis had an off switch
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
