she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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