I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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