If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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