There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
