you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
