I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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