PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
