But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
