Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
