Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Swine flu is the new snow day.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
