Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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