before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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