omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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