i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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