My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize