I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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