I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
