Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just want to make out with him forever
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
