Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
