Ambien. No doubt about it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
