Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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