i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
