i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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