No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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