never play flip cup with pint glasses
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
