just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Jerry, you need to find god
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
