My brain says no but my pants say off.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
