Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
