You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
