Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
