i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
