I wannas sexs uuuuu
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
