I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
