I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
