remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
