Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
