there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
