I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
