I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
smell my finger.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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