I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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