I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
