i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
