We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
