p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
