You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
