he wants to bone in the snuggie
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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