actually, I'm a sock model
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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