who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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