it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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