Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
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I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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