you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
nutella sex= disaster
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
