oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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