I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
