Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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